Gujarati Jokes

• Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.
  5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.
  
  Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
  2000 people leave the room.
  
  Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
  Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.
  2000 people leave the room.
  
  Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
  What can happen to me?' So he stays.
  Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
  500 people leave the room.
  
  Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
  Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.
  498 people leave the room.
  
  Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' Everyone else has gone.
  
  Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
  Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho'
  The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'
  Bill Gates was amazed to see both potential candidates talking fluently, friendly. He decided to hire both of them.
  

• Say open or close the light.
  Say chok-o-late instead of chocolate
  
  Say Hullo instead of Hello
  Say Vot instead of What.
  Everything you eat is saut? in garlic, onion, chili and tomatoes
  
  Try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
  You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick, tschick, tschick or pphht.
  
  

• Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Gujarati, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.
  
  The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
  
  When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who illed Jesus Christ?"
  The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
  
  When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question.
  He replied Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
  
  Finally the Gujarati arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question.
  He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?"
  The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
  
  When the Gujarati arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?"
  Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder."